Spirituality: The Cornerstone Of Healing After Loss

Bereavement is a messy journey. Between there being no set path to travel down to get to the other side of it, or any standard amount of time it takes to move through it, it’s no wonder we feel so alone and confused when mourning. We are not taught how to approach grief. We don’t know how complex and bizarre it can be until we are facing it. Nor are we familiar with the lasting effects it has and the people we become after it. For true healing to take place we not only have to make some sense of it, but we must also make peace with it.

When I lost my partner, I had to no clue as to what I would encounter as the days, months, and years unfolded, and even less as to how I was going to make it through those days, months, and years. Like everyone whose every grieved, I had to figure this out on my own. That’s why it’s so important to me as a writer to help others bridge the gap between where they are now in the journey with bereavement to where they want to be. With this said, I wanted to share what was my life raft during my journey with loss, in hopes that it will help others. And that, was developing my spirituality.

To some people, and especially those post loss, just the word can invoke all sorts of emotions and can often further push one away from exploring this fascinating area of life. But for some, it is the only thing that offers solace and allows them to not only make sense of their loss but come to accept and make peace with it. Developing one’s spirituality doesn’t mean one is religious, goes to church every Sunday, or identifies with any particular faith. It’s about becoming aware of our Oneness with everything that is.

For me, exploring my spirituality had always been about my relationship, and man’s relationship for that matter with nature. I could see how everything connected to everything else. How the trees were in communication with the birds. How plants grew in the wisest of locations. And how the streams offered their contribution to the whole in the richest of ways. My spirituality lived exclusively in the natural world.

But when I lost my partner, that all changed. I knew it in my bones that once we passed, it wasn’t the end of us. There was something more. Far greater than I could understand on my own. And if I wanted the answers to my budding existential questions, I had to go out and find them and put what I believed reality to be to the test.

It wasn’t the natural world that developed my spirituality this time, although I did spend a lot of time within in. It was through books that this grew. I devoured them. I read books on dying. Books on faith. Books on mediumship, extra sensory perception, life after death, near-death experiences, hypnotherapy, past lives, and life between lives regressions. I went to mediums and underwent past life regressions of my own. Anything I could do, I did. Until slowly I began discovering my faith and the connection it had with everything else.

I began to live life very differently because my relationship with it had changed. With my spirituality stronger than it had ever been, I felt a sense of connection with everything; even deeper than I had with nature! I was no longer questioned whether or not existence ceased when we died, I knew it didn’t. I no longer could consider events black or white, good or bad because there were too many ways of looking at things to confine them to such narrow labels. I began to witness how things transpired with ease the more I grew into alignment with who I wanted to become and the life I wanted to live. The Universe was reflecting its infinite intelligence and love in the smallest of ways, daily. This was not to say I no longer mourned. It also wasn’t to say I didn’t go through rough patches, confusing times, and even anger at where I was. But I did feel supported in a grand way and knew I wasn’t on this rock having to go at it alone.

Developing our spirituality is extremely healing. It assures us we are not alone. It reminds us that there is much more to the tapestry of life than we know. And it promises us that we can make art out of ashes. Because of our pain, we become our own healers. Because of our questions, we explore the meaning and purpose behind life. And because of our new relationship with death, we grow into better versions of ourselves because loss teaches us what matters.

My spirituality has now become my strongest of strengths; unwavering; unyielding, and a constant but sacred dance between the mind and heart. The mind can tell itself one thing while the heart yearns for another. But it is the Soul which rests in between that calmly guides the way. And that, dear reader, is “spirituality” at work.