Anticipatory Loss: Tips On Mourning The Future

What is anticipatory loss? Well just like the term suggests, it is the process of mourning a future loss. Anticipatory loss is unique in that the bereaved begin the grieving process before the person has passed. Typically, we see anticipatory loss with those receiving end of life care. As bizarre as it may sound, however, there is an advantage that comes with anticipatory loss. And that advantage is time. If you find yourself in the midst of this transition or perhaps looking for ways to help others, here are some tips that will help better prepare you with anticipatory loss and nature of it:

Accept The Inevitable. Loss demands a complete overhaul of us internally. Whereas with sudden loss, we are forced to take on everything in its entirety all at once. With anticipatory loss, however, we can embrace the reality beforehand. Coming to a place of accept before the actual death allows us to become more present during a time when we are needed most as well as allowing us to move forward with a healthier and more productive mindset after our loved one has passed.

Memorialize Your Loved One. Anticipatory loss allows us to memorialize one while they are still living. This affords us an opportunity that sudden deaths do not. We can honor their wishes with them. Maybe that’s planning a beautiful funeral with them or throwing a party where all friends and family are invited. Maybe it’s making a scrapbook of memories and stories as a keepsake for others. Perhaps they even want to take up the pen in their own eulogy. Whatever the case, with anticipatory loss, the dying are afforded the ability to play an active role in their legacy. This is not only very healing for them, but also for those who will survive them.

Tie Up Loose Ends. There’s nothing worse than watching a family be torn apart after loss. We need each other the most during this time. Yet, all too often, the opposite happens. With anticipatory loss we can resolve most issues before the loss even occurs. This can include creating a will, dividing assets, settling debts, and paying for the memorial services. Planning can alleviate future quarrels amongst family and save everyone additional agony.

Allow Yourself To Grieve. Finally, allow yourself to grieve. Sometimes anticipatory loss can be misunderstood and not as recognized or supported in the way that sudden loss is. Honoring your feelings, taking time off from work, asking for support from others, getting a therapist, and exploring or deepening your faith, are all healthy ways of processing loss and reshaping one’s life.

With anticipatory loss, both the dying and those soon to be bereaved grieve together. Navigating this process is hard work and takes a lot of patience and self-love. Utilizing the resources one has and making the most of the time still left however, can make all the difference in this journey and help us find comfort and peace.